I lean on God. I do my best to draw near, even when I know I've done wrong. What I have learned over the years is that I have to pray, I have to be honest with God about what's real.
For instance, have you ever bargained with God? "Oh God, if You do this one thing for me I swear I'll never do it again". whatever 'it' is. How realistic was that? Not very.
Our prayers should be conversations. When I pray I receive logic. I am a highly emotional person. I tend to react to my emotions strongly, I've done so my whole life. However, since I have been saved and have gone through some dramatic psychological changes, I recognize I think emotionally and try to curb it. When I find myself going back to old habits I stop and have a conversation in my little prayer closet.
God doesn't want to hear us beat ourselves up or call ourselves names. His mercy extends when we need it, each and every time. Christianity from a mankind stance is this outward expression of humility. But God doesn't want us to prove were humble to anyone but Him. You can't prove it with words anyway, only with actions. But real Christianity is love. Love God, love people. Period. Nothing else matters!
I have conversations with God and I always feel better, confident in whatever is next. When I get overwhelmed He always provides something that eases the process.
With Love
Jeff Utnage
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