As a child I had two career goals. One was to be a Chippendale dancer (thank you Patrick Swayze & SNL!), the other was to be a soldier.
My idea of a soldier was no fears, strong, confident. Upstanding, kind, tolerant. Patient, tactical...
Obviously that didn't work out. The Chippendale dream was shot to hell when I realized I was fat and my uncles started to really question my sexuality, I was about 7. The military was a no go because of a juvenile record.
I still became a soldier though. In prison I love the LGBT community. You have no idea how much. These misfits and misunderstood cons are the people who let down their guard and drop the bulls**t with me. I know their mistakes and they know mine. All of them. Its a very special relationship we all have because we face hatred, discrimination, and insecurities together.
Individually we are incomplete and singular. But together we are a united front, we hold one another up when things go wrong, and sometimes they do. When we make mistakes, because we all do, we don't tell each other how awful we are...we get plenty of that from out there, no, we simply extend a hand, give a quick hug and start shoring each other up bracing for impact together.
We rejoice in our victories together. When one jumps for joy, a piece of the rest of us does to. When one cries, a piece of the rest of us does too.
I know how hard it must be to look in at a person like me and think "this guy is worth my time." However, I challenge you to look at me, really look at me. I am a soldier not just for my cause, but for your cause. For the next generations cause. I am not fleeing while you watch from the shadows, fearing...whatever it is you fear. My hand has been extended to you for a very long time and it is still extended, despite the daily rejection. We are fighting the same damned war, yet you are fine to watch me struggle.
We are all soldiers, family, whether you like that or not. I AM gay, I AM Gender Fluid, and we ARE family. Help me through this, please. I promise I won't let you down. I won't be a soldier who flees, I am forever involved.
You can help me so much, maybe you don't realize it. Letters, cards, help me a few dollars while I go through college, send books, you can contribute on this site ( because, yeah, your opinions on this subject are valued and WANTED), send me updates on legal issues in our community regarding LGBT issues, send me your thoughts on how to prevent future crimes (...yeah, I care about that! ), send me tips on how to improve my writing or even a book on it...or any book because I am a reading machine!
The point is this, I need you. I need help. I am asking for it...
With Love
Jeff
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