Monday, September 18, 2017

Tinsel Princess (and Other Things That Come With an Aging Gender Queer)

Tinsel Princess doesn't really come to mind when I think of myself. When I look in the mirror I want to see no facial hair, thin brows, puffy lips and good teeth. 

In reality, what I see is bad teeth (from years of abuse, I admit) constant five o'clock shadow (even after I shave) and gray hair. 

I don't want to be critical of myself, but let's face it, we have to age. That's the deal. We will get gray hair, which my entourage of men refer to as tinsel because they know I'm sensitive to them pointing out my gray. In fun, they great me by saying "Good morning Tinsel Princess!" Of all the things for them to point out about the effects of aging, my "tinsel" is the least of worries.

I am only 35, but I still remember when 35 seemed old to me. Years when I thought every 35 year old had their stuff together. When if you were 35 you must be mature, smart, "adult." My oh my, how I was wrong! 

I am still discovering myself. Being 35 in prison sucks, but I would rather be 35 in prison and know who I am then 35 out there and living a lie, confused about my role in life. Clarity comes with "tinsel."

For all you budding bible babies out there, Proverbs says that a gray head is the crown of old men. We can adjust it a little for ourselves here though, "tinsel" means your smart if it was gotten in righteousness. Honey, I age righteously!

Our past always influences our future. But it doesnt define it. I may have spent a decade in prison, have bad teeth and tinsel in my hair. But I know exactly who I am, I know that a little saved cash can fix my teeth (thank God for dentists right!), $50 at a salon will dye my hair a respectable auburn again, and you just can't buy wisdom. 

Whatever your "flaws" are, don't sweat them. Beauty can and is always being redefined. Rather, evolving. As our culture matures, so does our understanding of life. 

With Love
Jeff "Tinsel Princess" 

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