Dream Job: Am I aiming to low, or finally aiming right?


Last summer here in prison I was given the opportunity to participate in a resume and interviewing skills class. Something that is invaluable to someone trying to restart. Someone like me for instance. All you had to do was tell them what job field you were interested in and they would help you type a resume and line you up with several employers who can help you hone your interview skills and give you feedback that could be the difference between being gainfully employed or not.

All I had to do was tell them what field I really wanted to be apart of. So after a week of thought, I was down to what I really wanted to do and what I thought was expected of me. So I had another aha! moment. I decided that in all this reinvention and self-discovery I was going to finally pursue what I wanted to do, not settle. What I really wanted to do was be a waiter. I know, not the most glamorous job in the world, but it's what I want.

So this has perplexed me somewhat because all of a sudden here I was finally admitting that I wanted to be a simple waiter. At first I was embarased. Now I am sure I am just pitiful. Is it weird? I think so. I will be out when I am 39 years old, never waited a table in my life, always careful to avoid the LGBTQ community and I am going straight to a restaurant that is closest to as many gay community members as possible. I can't wait! I am so excited. But then again, why? What will people think? How is a 40 year old gay man ever going to get a waiting jopb straight outta the joint? 

I must be a glutton for punishment. This must sound somewhat self-absorbed, but I work on my body just so that when I get out I will still look good enough to have my shirt off. Sooo...I work my butt off, literally. 

Is that going to small for reinventing your life? Is that pathetic that my life's pinnacle of enjoyment is going to be "Hi, i'm Jeff and i'll be you waiter this evening". I'll be the happiest waiter ever. Perhaps I could be a waiter at a gay night club, or even better at a drag show club, or at a drag theater! Maybe i'll work my way up to make-up artist...wink! 

I'm just being silly now, I know. But here I am in prison and I feel that I got the whole world in my palms and infinite ways to reinvent myself. I choose to wait tables...what will my Mother think!?

That's all for now everyone. I hope to one day see you at a table somewhere and if you see a handsome waiter with a cross on his arm and a neck tattoo, think of me.

With Love

Jeff Utnage

Also, we need to come up with a blog post closer like "The gay inmate" or something. I know, cheesy but that's why i'm coming to you. LOL!

have a great day and night everyone!