Friday January 22nd, 2016

Certainty Is Limited:

Not much in here is guaranteed. We are to get three hots and a cot and that's about it. This place has a funny way of preparing you for uncertainty. You just never know exactly what's about to happen. You have to do what your told to maintain a meek existence and some form of happiness. So when your told to pack your things your moving, guess what? Your moving. Last night I was told that and like a good boy I moved. It didn't matter if I was going to have problems, if my new cellmate was uncomfortable with me, or worse...
Nothing was going to change. All I could do was deal with it, that's a newly acquired skill. Before if I didn't like something I could do something about it, rather, I would do something about it. Lately, it just seems better to roll with the punches then fight the fight. I am okay with that, I actually some comfort away from knowing that's it is all going to be alright. That's my prerogative.
Last night when I found out I was moving I was very concerned. But, knowing my situation this was a sink or swim kinda night. I did the only thing I knew how, I prayed. I asked God "what are You doing, what's up?" and "I sure hope You know what Your doing". I can only assume it's Him at work since I didn't ask for or want this. Funny thing about talking to our Creator is, He answers. He says to me "ask of Me a sign and I will send it" I could have asked for anything, I said the first thing that came to mind, "tell me it's going to be alright, let me hear those words." I ended my prayer and turned on my t.v. and began flipping through channels going right past a t.v. preacher, which I am NOT a fan of. But my heart said to go back, so I did, and within two sentences the man on t.v. said "don't worry about your adversaries, it's going to be alright". 
I know it's easy to just chalk it up to chance. I don't care, I needed to hear that, out loud. So I did and you know what? Everything was alright. All night while all the hustle and bustle was going on I kept my cool by telling myself, it's going to be alright. If God says "it's going to be alright" then it's going to be allright, and so it was.

The only certainty I know of anymore is that as a man who follows God (albeit, I still have my issues, like cussing, or small faith) I am only guaranteed a ticket to heaven through Jesus. The only other thing I know for sure is, trust in the Almighty, and He will never leave your spirit in disrepair.

Take care, with love

Jeff Utnage 823469
H3-B-120-U
Stafford Creek Correction Center
191 Constantine Way
Aberdeen, WA 98520

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