Making mistakes, assumptions, and bad choices is all a part of human life. We have free will therefore we screw up. We say and do things that result in our own downfalls. Like thinking Trump was a good thing for politics. (Excuse me while I adjust my collar)
However, being able to admit your mistakes is key in moving forward. Nobody is going to go through life without having hurt someone. Its part of the journey and it sucks. Hiding it does no good.
How about some honest conversation then? I am not talking about confessional here, however I do think that being vulnerable is all a part of growth. Keeping everything inside is a poison that will consume you eventually. The fear is that you will lose everything if people knew the 'real' you, mistakes and all.
I struggle with this everyday. I have a sex offense, one in which I am hated for. I will never shake it, out live it, or be totally forgiven for it. I have to tell any potential partner about it, in its entirety, else I face prison time again. Here is the amazing part, and the meat of this post, you will find people that are willing to see YOU. What you have done, you have done and you cannot take it back. Believe me, I know all about regrets. You want to take back your actions so bad you dream about it, wake up screaming about it in the middle of the night, and keep people away from your heart so you don't have to relive the torment of the past. I get it and I am sorry that you have to go through that...
Freedom isn't physical, its internal. Though you may feel awful, as I do, about your past and would give anything to undo it, you simply cannot. So the next best thing is to move one and find people before they make similar mistakes.
The emotional pain of someone betraying your trust is unbearable, you do not want to be responsible for that. There is help for those whom are struggling with addictions, traumas, and desires. Seriously, reach out before you lose everything and hurt the ones who depend on you the most. Its not worth your ego or pride or fear. Trust me...
There is help, you are not lost, not all hope is gone and I promise that you will still have one person in the flesh who will be there to support you, me. Reach Out!
With Love
Jeff Utnage
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