I have tried to expand my network for years. Get mentors, coaches, or champions...whatever you may call the people who have knowledge you don't. I want more friends outside of prison, maybe even a partner. But I just don't seem to possess the communication skills. I have been asking what's wrong with me for years but all I get is how great I am. Which is annoying because the totality of my accomplishments and "greatness" amounts to a great decade in prison, which nets me precisely zilch in community support.
The one common factor in all my attempts at outreach is me. Which means I have the deficiency, no problem, I can address problems within me, in fact, I strive to root out internal problems. I have to know what that problem is because I was looking, and hard, but unable to spot the precise problem. I heard some see me as stuck up, too perfect, a real leader, closed off, too smart, highly intelligent and prudish. And what I considered was being slightly dumber, inarticulate, loose, and talkative. Maybe that will net me community support, but I just can't bring myself to do it.
But then I realize my problem is vulnerability. I keep myself well-protected emotionally and closed off. Talking about my past is not an issue unless you want me to talk about my experiences pre-marriage, that's always been an off-limits subject. Being vulnerable about my childhood and my thoughts and experiences as an adult...let's try something new.
With Love
Ruth Utnage
Subscribe, Follow, Interact, Comment and change YOUR community
Mail To:
Jeff aka Ruth Utnage 823469 D-610-2
MCC-TRU
P.O. Box 888
Monroe, WA 98272
or email through jpay.com
DOC: 823469
Name: Utnage, Jeff (though I am legally Ruth)
Visit us on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/lgbtqprisonsupport/
The one common factor in all my attempts at outreach is me. Which means I have the deficiency, no problem, I can address problems within me, in fact, I strive to root out internal problems. I have to know what that problem is because I was looking, and hard, but unable to spot the precise problem. I heard some see me as stuck up, too perfect, a real leader, closed off, too smart, highly intelligent and prudish. And what I considered was being slightly dumber, inarticulate, loose, and talkative. Maybe that will net me community support, but I just can't bring myself to do it.
But then I realize my problem is vulnerability. I keep myself well-protected emotionally and closed off. Talking about my past is not an issue unless you want me to talk about my experiences pre-marriage, that's always been an off-limits subject. Being vulnerable about my childhood and my thoughts and experiences as an adult...let's try something new.
With Love
Ruth Utnage
Subscribe, Follow, Interact, Comment and change YOUR community
Mail To:
Jeff aka Ruth Utnage 823469 D-610-2
MCC-TRU
P.O. Box 888
Monroe, WA 98272
or email through jpay.com
DOC: 823469
Name: Utnage, Jeff (though I am legally Ruth)
Visit us on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/lgbtqprisonsupport/
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