Doubt always had a way to seep into our lives. Like smoke penetrating walls. We fall victim frequently to the icy grips of doubt. Just know that you are experiencing normalcy.
I haven't run across anyone who is good enough. Everyone has a flaw. More like everyone has a set of flaws. Something that creeps up in their mind to gnaw at them.
Its ok to allow this feeling to run its course. But don't allow it to lead you in any way. If doubt had its way you would stay in a tiny, safe bubble where risk and happiness doesn't exist.
I run into this all the time. I look at what I am trying to do. Which is continue to make positive changes in my life and of those around me. I want to encourage people to achieve life. Whatever that means to them. I just want to love them, uplift them and be a friend to them while they realize their value in humanity. Sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough for that. But, here is where I know its just that nasty old doubt. No one else is stepping up in these peoples lives, or mine for that matter. I don't accept that answer. I need help. I have been reaching and reaching and almost no one is taking my hand to help me. I refuse to stand idle and look on as someone struggles to stay alive. I have climbed this peak with One holding my hand and that was the Big Man upstairs, my Creator. I am stronger for it and a better man as a result. I have been through this much, so I have no problem helping someone else. I also have no problem admitting I'm still a long ways from success and I need help too.
So when that dirty old doubt creeps in, just know this; no one is good enough so it might as well be you. Why not you? Your just as good as the next person. They ain't special, they ain't nothing you ain't. Go get what you want because no ones going to hand it to you. You must take it on your own. Yeah its going to be hard, but you got it. Baby steps, teeny tiny steps, everyone gets you there. Some days you'll run, some days you'll crawl. Either way you make your own progress.
With Love, please observe my new address, mail is having trouble making it to me
Jeff Utnage 823469
H4-B-46-U
Stafford Creek Correction Center
191 Constantine Way
Aberdeen, WA 98520
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