If I had it my way I would never again encounter another man who walks with his chest puffed out and his arms 4" out to his sides. I would never again hear another man talk about how much ass he could whoop or how bad he is at whatever...
I have slowly allowed myself to be who I want to be and admit what I feel inside and it has been liberating in so many ways.
Androgyny is my new personal frontier, I have not been able to define what my feelings were until I found the word androgyny. Then there was just one problem, men don't do the things I wanted to do. Like wear heels, or dresses in public, unless of course they are transgendered. Then there is some amount understanding, but not much.
I just cannot understand who in hell made the silent rule that women get all the fun stuff, like make up and soft underwear. Why can't I be pretty? Why cannot I not run a business wearing stockings and a skirt AND still have a penis? What's wrong with that? Am I less of a man physically? Nope...
Some would argue that this is stuff that fetish minded men would want. A little part of me agrees because there are men who are into dressing up as the opposite sex for sexual purposes...get your money honey! But that is not entirely me, however, I would dress up however in the hell my man wanted me to dress...lumberjack to prom queen and everything in between. (see, I can be a good boyfriend!)
There is just such a lack of understanding about what masculinity and femininity means. For so long, forever as far as I know, these two boxes were build with specific guidelines that all human beings must follow. I just don't completely buy into that. I can't because I am very happy with my male genitalia, but very unhappy having to wear rough, stiff clothing that doesn't allow for men to have curves...
What if I want a booty? What is the point of having a great looking rump if I have to hide it under freakin' Carhartts? Where's the fun in that. I want to look sexy, flattering. I want to wear whatever in the hell I want to wear whenever in the hell I want to wear it.
I know that I am not alone in this thought process and I also know that plenty of people think I am a freak, weirdo...whatever.
What else is new
With Love
Jeff Utnage
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