It's funny how after a ten year long marriage to a woman and hating it how one wants to finally get into a relationship that one would actually like. Mainly, me.
Like many prisoners I want to have a relationship with someone outside of this place. I guess the hopeless romantic within just keep on ticking despite the sometimes unpleasant conditions of this place and its inhabitants.
I have not really pushed the issue for the past 5 1/2 years that I have been down simply because I knew that I was a very broken man. In addition, shame for my crimes has prevented me from really pursuing a boyfriend. So instead of seeking someone to get under while I go over my past, I decided to do the sensible thing and actually focus on fixing my broken little gay self.
Now, here I am with this burning desire to find someone that I can at least flirt with or maybe even have a relationship with. God willing. I have decided that I am good enough, I am worth enough, I am not a waste. I like me now and I think that I am worth sharing. Imagine that.
I used to think that inmates should not date while in prison, but like most attitudes, it got changed. It would be so nice to be able to have a visit from my boyfriend and watch all the heads turn...
Here's hopin'
With Love
Jeff Utnage
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