I believe that all of us have something we love to do. Sometimes we deviate from that or some, like me, take forever to find the courage to do it.
My comfort zone used to be small. I would envision myself teaching classes or using a podium and giving speeches. In real life, though, I was terrified of introducing myself to the grocery store cashier.
Over time I convinced myself I would never do those things and I got angry, bitter.
With prison came a type of abandon with myself. One that I recognized fairly early on, I could reinvent myself. It wasn't much of a choice. I was miserable with who I was and bitter with who I was not.
Over time I reestablished comfort zones. Now my comfort zone walls are more like office dividers I can easily move in expansion. I found what I love to do.
My dreams were to speak to people, be highly social. I find it somewhat comforting that when I tried to recluse, like I did before prison, it was a terrible feeling. So I went back to my love. Maybe I needed to recluse to make sure I really didn't like it, or maybe I needed to prove to myself I really do love people. Either way, the moment I began edifying people around again my life felt whole again.
I love to watch people discover inner treasures within themselves. I love to watch them strengthen themselves. I love people. As a whole and as individuals.
I am choosing to love because its what comes natural, its what makes me feel good.
Find your passion, get back to your passion, immerse yourself in your passion.
Don't know what your passion is? Maybe talking about it will help, write me, my address is on the profile page.
With Love
Jeff Utnage
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