3-3-2016

Swallowing Pride

In Proverbs it says that by pride comes nothing but strife. This morning I had to live that to it's fullest meaning. Like most people in the world I dont like to be treated as less then. I don't like to be cut of or cut in front of in any line. I don't like to be treated as if I am something less then someone else. I don't know if it's human nature, but I know its my nature.
Let me put a scenerio in front of you. There are 128 men in one space, we share 2 email kiosks to talk to our family and download our latest music purchases. Some of us have thousands of songs and use the kiosk daily for human interaction with our families and loved ones. Guys like me use it daily to post blog entries and talk to my family. So what happens when jpay (the company that runs this particular email system) allows us to purchase new things like an updated version of our music device we have to redownload every thing to our new machine. In some cases tht is thousands of songs. Here is the catch, youonly get 20 minutes at a time to do so, and in that 20 minutes it freezes up for 15 of those minutes, so you only get 5 minutes and in that 5 minutes you only get 1 little song. Just one. 
Here is where the pride swallowing comes in. Because you only get 5 sessions a day on the machine and you only get 1 song a session on average...if any at all, it becomes extremely competitive. Now, take in account that everyone of your 128 neighbors are all cmopeting fo the same space as you and previously they didn't wait in lines or wait their turn for anything in life. In fact, they were more inclined to take a life that was in their way. Now, take someone like me, I am 180 pounds and a 5'9" gay. I don't exactly instill fear in anything. Not anymore. Everyone knows that I am non-violent and generally speaking I am nice. So it was no surprise that someone chose to flat ut cut me in line and remove me completely so they could download their one song.
At first my anger boils, because my pride is hurt. But I prayed a prayer and God instilled in my spirit a Proverbs, I believe its Proverbs 13:10, I maybe wrong, but it says "By pride comes nothing strife..." I felt at that reading that God was telling me that I am to bless those who spitefully use me, which is what happened. 
However, I swallowed my pride and I am so glad that I did becuase in doing so, I became in control of my being. No one pushed my buttons and some may say that now I have opened a door to being used more frequently, but isn't that the chance we take with God. In fact, Jesus said those who desire to save their life will lose it and those who lose their life for Jesus sake will gain it. So by me being used and me being last now and having to swallow my pride and facing adversity, I get to show someone who hasn't seen it yet how to walk the high road. Guess what, here I am just 30 minutes later, on the kiosk. Ultimately, God takes care of His people. Follow God, take the time to vent your feelings to Him and talk with Him. But remember that it's not a one way covnersation. Take time to look for His answer. Sometimes it will come in action, sometimes it will come in a scripture. You have to look for it. 

Anyway, i'll get off my soap box now. I love you all and hope that one day I get to see everyoe face to face. 

With Love

Jeff Utnage