Since gay marriage has only recently been made legal its still hard for many people to view a long term relationship among gays realistic. The stigma has been smoky bars, bath houses and seedy movie theaters. Long relationships lasted the whole weekend. Obviously there were exceptions to this.
I don't know how it was back in the seventies except for what I was told but the picture I get is basically a free love mind frame.
I bring this up because dating is hard for me because my mindset is driven to establish commitment. The one flower type. But I haven't dated almost at all. Its hard for me to wrap my mind around a one night affair and be OK with it. While many men I talk to are all to happy to sleep with someone and their name is rarely important. Sex is the objective and whatever needs to be done to make that happen.
I do admit I have fell victim to the mindset of instant gratification. But I still long for a long term relationship. In fact I'd rather have that then sex. The sex being a result of our connection rather then the objective.
I just have to wonder about my mindset being the norm. It seems I am absolutely in the minority. Some guys I run into are more apt to have a relationship so long as it involves sex. Whereas I am mainly interested in the emotional attachment and security the relationship provides.
I wish I could do a poll and find out just how many gay men think like me? Maybe I'm broken?
I know that one night stands leave me feeling used and I don't like that feeling. Like I was someone's prey. I don't want to change this part of me either. I like the fact that I know what I'm looking for out of a relationship. I've been told though that this outlook is very "womanlike" of me. Not a typical homosexual mentality.
Just wondering if that's true or not?
With Love
Jeff Utnage
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