As a gay man my struggle is different then a woman's. But one thing is similar, the limits that are placed on us. Whether this is intentional or not is besides the point.
As a woman do you believe that its your sole responsibility to do house chores? Has your husband thrown his hands up in defeat trying to do laundry, saying something that hints at its not his job? Let's keep this real, its laundry, not rocket science. Any fool can make it happen.
I don't like limits or inequality. As a woman you shouldn't be expected to work a full time job, do the chores and do all the cooking and the child care. Not when you have a partner.
The idea that you stay home and do all cleaning and cooking stems from the thought process that you are weaker, therefore your role is different. Weaker how? Physically? We live in a world where robots do surgery! Where in anyone's world is muscles the dominant factor? What, for pickle jars? C'mon!
The reason I bring this up is because of a debate I had with a couple of trans women recently. Over cleaning their house. One is of the belief that cleaning is the woman's job and that's how you define feminine. While the other is impressionable she is learning from the other woman what being female is. While I agree with being mentoring, I don't agree with her assessment of womanhood. Its not a woman's job to clean, its a persons job, male or female. The whole idea that because you had to be physically active for 7 hours, or heck even 12 hours, doesn't excuse you to laziness.
This doesn't mean that a woman shouldn't do these things if she wants to. However, it does mean that womanhood is more than "house".
As a woman you can do anything. Including physically demanding jobs and activities. You can do whatever job you damn well please and if your partner comes home and still believes its your job to clean and cook after working as well, screw them. They probably sat and typed on a computer all day looking at craigslist and porn while watching the clock. Yup, demanding, I know.
My point isn't to create separation, my point is to enlighten that women, don't listen to an outdated stigma that some are trying to keep alive. Who stands to benefit from a woman being left at home? The woman's partner, that's who. Because then they get to do everything they want to do because its their "role". Excuse me while I gag!
Do you know who's job it is to clean? Whoever makes the mess, who should dust? Who should do laundry? Should the man be the only one who grills or change oil? God no! Ladies, do you know what changing oil means? You turn one screw, that's it...one! Oil drains, you unscrew the oil filter, which heaven forbid you use a filter wrench, super complicated. A man should do it...it involves turning a cylindrical object counterclockwise. Gimme a break!
If you want to spend all day washing the driveway with a hose and call it hard work you should be allowed to. Or, you can clean. Whatever it is, it should be your choice, not what's expected of you.
With Love
Jeff Utnage
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