I've seen Roots. The slave owners family think its cute when the slave wants to read. As if that's impossible. So I imagine them being thrown a book, because what's the harm, their never going to read anyhow.
Then the slave learns to read anyway. But quietly, once the owner finds out it clicks, it registers. They're capable of education. That would mean they are equal. The implication there is that one man has wrongfully and shamefully held down another man and forced his entire race into bondage because of his own laziness and entitlement. His shortcomings, he pinned on another man to make up for.
Fast forward to today and here I am in prison a gay white man. I took a program and learned a little. Everyone thought it was cute. The fag found his voice, how charming. Then this fag fixed a few problems within himself. "Oh," they say, "good for you" . Then when I say "I can help others like me," they throw me a book, like the slave owner did. The throw it by saying "sure, send me what you got". Then people begin to talk. Because I did. People realized I wasn't kidding or giving up. So I was discluded from any more programs. While others are chosen and brought in, I have to ask. While others are so busy they can't keep up, I have to beg. Yet I am consistently forgotten, except by those who know the struggle. Who have experienced discrimination.
People, listen to me when I say that yeah, you may have to bang on a door to get it to open, but don't stop banging. Keep kicking it because people out there who have equality already are realizing that they have held us down, they are realizing that we are human and we are coming...we are coming to face them so we can help our people come out of oppression and experience life as equal. They don't want to open doors for us because then they'll have to look us in the eye and their shame will haunt them. They know its wrong. Only willing to teach me so long as I know my place among the lowly.
I'll keep banging because I'm tired of being the submissive faggot who knows his place. I do know my place, right next to you and I won't stop until I get there. My voice, our voice will be heard. Or I will spend my last breath trying.
With Love & A Determined Heart
Jeff Utnage
To know more about my struggle in here please write me at:
Jeff Utnage 823469
H4-B-130- U
Stafford Creek Correction Center
191 Constantine Way
Aberdeen, WA 98520
Or email me through jpay.com, you'll need my name and DOC# which is Jeff Utnage. 823469
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