5-10-2016
The Pretty, Pretty Princess: Seriously, You Have To Read This

I get away with a lot with some seriously tough guys. Most in here know that I'm gay and I try to have a good time with it. For instance, I'll tell some big o' macho man that I'm gonna climb him like a spider monkey. Usually I get a look, like "go ahead and try". Then I'll wink at him and tell him he owes me eight seconds and I'm gonna ride him like a show pony. Then I can't hold my laughter in any longer and start rolling. Not many people can get away with telling a convicted murderer and white supremist that your going to ride him like a show pony, but I apparently can. Probably because there is no real threat. We have a good laugh and move on with our days. Then they will step around me nervously from that point forward unsure of how to handle me, after all, I just threatened to ride them. LOL!
So tonight, I'm writing this on Saturday btw, I have a friend in here that everyone calls "Fuzzy". Fuzzy is a nervous fellow around me. Never quite sure what to say or how to act. If I say anything off color he turns red and looks down sheepishly. I delight in accomplishing this! I haven't known him long, but long enough to razz him. He is very nice, one of those guys you interact with and think "how the blazes did you get here?" A few weeks ago a friend of his who was trying to get his goat put me up to calling him a 'Show Pony', which quickly escalated into the 'Pretty, pretty show pony'. He didn't really respond much except he would turn red and cell in with embarrassment. Well, his buddy was up to his antics and right on cue he sees me and points to Fuzzy, including me in whatever joke they are sharing, so I took the hint and called him "My pretty, pretty princess". Of course we all start rolling because he's all flustered and immediately cells in smiling and red faced. So I went to his door and looked in and he's sitting there on the edge of his bunk, arms crossed and not too excited to see me. So I said it again "Who's Momma's pretty, pretty princess?" and I'll be damned if he didn't throw a tantrum! He answered back angrily "No! I'm not a pretty princess" then he shoved out his bottom lip and pouted. I about died! His cellie came running out giggling feriously, our friend who instigated it about peed his pants and I had tears rolling down my cheeks.

Big Ole bad murderers and thugs, throwing tantrums "I'm not a pretty, pretty princess"

Ahhh! Sometimes this place can't help but make you laugh!

With Love
Jeff Utnage 823469