5-20-2016
How To Develop Strength: 

I am talking about heart, tenacity. I have heard statements like "either its in you or its not". Those same people who said that are aspiring pimps, btw. (consider where I'm at). Its clear to me that there is no book or guide on how to be more tenacious.
Strength, to be strong, means you have persevered through resistance. It means that you have been through repeated resistance over an extended period of time. Remember the saying " only the strong survive"?
I am going to use me for an example. Among the strong, I am the weakest. I am developing mental fortitude day by day. But something occurred to me while I was in prayer, call it divine if you want. 
One morning I was complaining to God about all that I didn't have and how hard my life was. All the letters I wrote, asking for support and guidance and nobody responding. I cried about my heartache and my lonliness. Then something hit me, in the middle of my pity party. I was being prompted to count my blessings. Vaguely knowing what that meant I began to name off the few people I had in my life. Then specific instances began to emerge from my memory about me persevering. God wasn't allowing me to feel sorry for myself. He was showing me how to persevere when I felt weak. A way to develop strength.
When I feel like the whole world is working against me or no one is helping me; I remember that if it was easy it would have been done already. Right? All the easy stuff has already been accomplished in your life. Everything from here on out requires a new kind of character. How do you get it? By reaching for your goals and hitting a road block. Not failing, but a road block.
Just because you couldn't do it the first or second time doesn't mean you've failed. You have only failed when YOU believe its impossible. When someone else says its impossible then it is for them, but not for you. When I hear someone tell me I can't do something or that it will never happen, I say thank you and move on. That person has no room in my life. 
You see, in order to be strong you MUST encounter resistance. Otherwise its not strength your developing. Just because something isn't easy doesn't mean its not meant to be. It means your in need of more strength. Which means you must continue to try. When it doesn't happen the first, second or its even hundredth time, it means that you will need that much more strength to accomplish your goal.
Its all how you look at it. I am in prison, but I still have hope. I may never have anyone, but I still have God. I may not have anything but a coffee cup and my delusions but I will not give up. I will keep trying until I accomplish what it is I set out to do. 
Keep heart dears. Don't give up. Life gets very tough sometimes, but its tough for many. Keep going, keep trying and doing and getting that extra bit of character needed. I am supporting of you, if you need you can write me all your troubles, unleash all your doubts on me to get them out of the way, that way you can keep going.

With Love
Jeff Utnage 823469
See my profile for my address and contact info!