5-8-2016
Homosexuality: Born This Way VS Nurtured This Way

I recently lost a good friend over this topic. He is straight and not fanatically religious, but religious non-the-less. I try to avoid this subject with straight contacts unless they are posing the question for their own education. I am not sure if he went there to push my buttons or if he went there trying to push a religious ideal. Regardless, he went there. And, he lost a friend as a result. I won't tolerate his ideal that I chose this for myself. 
The same ideal comes from terrible preachers and nuts who pickett our weddings and very existence. I have made many choices in my life. I chose to commit an act that brought me to prison, I chose to try and be straight, I chose to change my life and emotional state, I chose to set goals. I didn't however CHOOSE to like men. These feelings I have tried to suppress and disguise and hide and disavow and tell myself they weren't real. I tried to CHOOSE that. For some, this is a choice, absolutely a choice. But for me and the majority of LGBTQ this wasn't a choice. It was far from a choice. No, we were created this way, just like its instinctual for straights to be attracted to the opposite sex, for gays we are attracted to the same sex and their ain't a damn thing we can do about it. Almost all of us have tried and failed. And for some of us this failure led us down some really dark paths. 
My foundation for Christian beliefs is founded on the ideal that I was created this way by a creator, in my case, God. Just like there are 1600 known animal species that have homosexuality in their culture, if God created them...why not me? Did they make a choice to go against nature? Oh wait, they are nature, therefore what they do is "the nature of things". If a man is born straight then men can also be born gay. This isn't to disclude our lesbian sisters, I mean man as a race, people in general. Not just men. 
I have come from a place where I was very unhealthy mentally. I was able to step out of that with the help of a whole team of professionals. All of which pointed me towards self discovery and awareness. What was it that I discovered, I was born this way and I can't change it. I have accepted it fully and am happy about it. If the choice was mine I would choose to be straight. But its not, I was predetermined and I am thankful for it. For someone to come along and tell me something they have no clue about just pisses me off. If you haven't experienced this, haven't lived it, had to wrestle and fight with it, then you DON'T know...that's not to say you can't be educated. But you can't know for sure unless you have lived it. My friends attitude was one of ignorance. Ignorance of which I DO have a choice to be around and I choose not to be around it. 
Dears, you don't have to tolerate ignorance. Love those who don't support you, but that doesn't mean you have to nurture their ignorance. You have the right to choose who's around you and your well to do so carefully. If someone is not condusive to a peaceful environment for you to heal and be stable in, boot that person to the curb and don't be apologetic. If they choose to change then reevaluate, but don't compromise to make room for their intolerance.

With Love
Jeff Utnage 823469